Time Flies...

They say time flies when you're having fun...I often forget just how fast it does! Sometimes, throughout my day, I stop and think, "Wow! Look where i am now!" I have a Jeep, a house, a cat, a boyfriend - A boyfriend, not a girlfriend like everyone expects, even me - friends, I'm out and I have a steady job. I think, "Jeez, two years ago I never would have thought I'd be here. And yet, here I am!

It's mind-boggling to think how far I've come from the depressed, recluse I was back at University. I look at where I am now and I'm content. It's true, there is always room for improvement, but at the same time, I'm just...Happy.

:)

Yeah, I'm real dedicated to this blog! The last blog I posted almost daily in...I find that now that I'm accepting of my sexuality and don't doubt myself all the time, I have less to work out. Which means I have less to say.

Bryan has just been posting pictures and random, short and infrequent "musings" on his blog. I may end up doing that.

Total lack of inspiration!

Should be posting more...

It's been almost a week since I've posted! If I'm going to keep this up, I need to be a little more dedicated than this!

Anyways...HUGE weekend with Mr. Northmore. First, it was Grandpa Ken's suprise 75th Birthday out at his place on Saturday. I took Brian, with Ilka's blessing. I'm really happy he was there. We weren't overly affectionate, but if any of those people that were there had any practical sense they would have realized that we were a couple. Which is fine by me. I was there for Grandpa Ken and to spend time with Bri.

On Sunday, we were supposed to walk downtown and check out the Busker's Rendezvous, but we both felt a little icky. Instead, we chatted on MSN all day while playing our respective MMO's. I surprised him on Sunday night by 'blading over to his house. We rolled around my neighbourhood for awhile - him on his bike, me on my 'blades.

Monday, we hung out at my house and had the take-out cake Ilka gave us from Saturday. I was pretty stressed at work yesterday because of financial strain and I was late for work and I was exhausted. It was definitely great to see him. I feel bad that I won't be able to afford him a gift on his Birthday because of said financial issues. This coming weekend will be crazy busy.

Kody, what's wrong?

That's what I asked him last night, as I sat at my computer and he walked around the kitchen in continuous circles. Turns out, he had gotten his lower jaw snagged on his little collar, one of his lower incisors poking through the collar. He wasn't making any noises, but he was certainly in distress. After I removed it and cuddled with him, comforting and calming him - He wouldn't let me out of his sight. It was really rather cute; but, I was really worried.

One of the reasons I wanted Kody to wear a collar is that, should he somehow get outside, most people look for a collar before they feel for a microchip. Not to mention that he would look cute as a button with a red collar and his name on a tag!

* * * *

I didn't sleep too well last night because of the heat. Even though I'm sleeping until my alarm again now that I've denied Kody access to my room at night - I'm still not waking up feeling rested. If it isn't my dreams, it's the heat. These next few weeks will be really busy with grandpa Ken's Surprise 80th and Brian's birthday next weekend. Not to mention Double XP weekend in City of Villains! I really need to start getting a full night's rest. I wonder if Kody would let me snooze after work...?

Sleeplessness

I've been having weird, wild dreams of late. They aren't nightmares, which is good, but they are pretty screwed up! Like really off-the-wall things - Offices with no floors, rooms without gravity that open into pink skies filled with silver water creatures that float on the winds. Windows that melt and locker room showers that contain pools and Greek baths.

I'm talking real Salvador Dali stuff, here! The worst part is, I wake up feeling like I've run a marathon (which I sometimes do!).



Poor Kody, was chirruping a greeting to me this morning and I'm walking around like a zombie doing my morning routine. It wasn't until halfway through my shower that I felt more or less awake.

I need some caffeine.

Kody & The Weekend

Not to focus too much on Kodes, but I thought a little update with regard to our clashing last week was in order.

We barely fought over the weekend, in fact he was really cute! We cuddled all day Saturday, off and on and got along more or less great. I got him a collar on Saturday. He looks so sweet in it! Once he gets used to it, I may by him a little tag; he's been microchipped so its totally unnecessary. However, people still look for a tag first. I doubt he will ever get out, but you never know! I'm sure he's curious about that "large, rectangular light" that people tend to disappear out of, sometimes for hours.

I was also supposed to spend the weekend with Brian - And I was looking forward to it! Unfortunately, I've developed a canker sore in my mouth due to my braces. I really hate these things; they cause abrasions in my mouth regularly that often develop into canker sores. One strategically placed canker sore can make daily life pretty much suck. And not in the good way. My parents may have spent the $7k on my braces, but I'm the one paying for them.

Thankfully, the sore is fading and if I'm careful, this weekend and the next, can be all about Brian. :)

Kodes

Lately, my kitty and I have been butting heads. Mostly, I think it's a clash of personalities, but it may partially be that he gets to sleep and recharge all day while I stress and work all day. When I come home, I want to relax. When he sees me come home, he wants to play and spend time.

I come home, we have a big cuddle-fest while he greets me and makes up for my absence all day then I feed him and eat myself. After that, I'm ready to sit down and play PC or watch a DVD or chat on MSN or whatever...Kody wants to play. More. It's really rather exhausting. And when I don't respond or play with him, he mewls and meows until I pay attention to him. This is where we clash.

Two nights ago, I ended up chasing him around the house, not to play but to reprimand. Kody thought it was a game, though. Until I caught him and sat in the washroom with him with the door closed. Kody hates the washroom. After I let him go, he hid and pouted until bed time. And I stay angry at him until I come home from work the next day.




But, really, who could stay mad at this face? After a bit, he either plays by himself or loses interest and goes to sit by a window or sleeps in his bed under the television. Which lets me do my thing in peace and quiet.

Last night, he started his little "Pay attention to me more!" session early so I jaunted over to PetSmart and got him some more toys. He really liked the catnip pouch - I have to limit his use of that.

My only other qualm is that he insists on playing with his toys in the basement. Besides it being cool down there, I wish he wouldn't because of all the cobwebs and insects and general "ick" factor.

Pride (cont'd)

Bri and I were watching "Angel" last night while eating Subway. If you aren't familiar with the show, I highly suggest looking it up and giving it a good watch. It's a spin off of the more popular "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer." Angel, the vampire with a soul, cursed by gypsies in the early 20th Century. Vampires in the Buffyverse are soulless creatures that murder without the drawbacks of guilt and remorse. By forcing a soul on Angel, the gypsies gave the 200 year old vampire remorse and guilt for all the people he killed. Only by experiencing true love with the woman he loves will the curse be broken. The show tends to deal with more adult issues like death, birth, single-parent homes and the power of friends. Well worth everyone's time!

There was this one scene where Angel and Lorne discuss Angel's growing attraction to Cordelia, one of his co-workers and a former rich & snobbish cheerleader at Sunnydale High. Cordelia, now a Champion of Light, has grown into a gorgeous person both inside and out. Angel has been sensing a attraction to her for quite sometime. At this point in the show, Bri and I were holding hands. I looked down at his hand in mine and was struck by an overwhelming feeling of Pride. Not Pride in the showy, flashy sense like Toronto Pride, but Pride as it was meant to be; I was proud of myself and my sexual identity. Proud that we live in a society where my boyfriend and I could be together. We could hold hands in privacy and in public without fear of, you know, death.

Then I noticed the slenderness of Brian's thumb in comparison to my own, the variation in skin pigmentation and the sensation of holding, not only the man I love, but a simply a man's hand. Caught in the moment, I looked at Brian as he watched the episode. I just looked. Then I felt the overpowering need to kiss him. The feel of his lips against mine was especially acute because of the state of mental stimulation I was in.

It was great experience.

Good episode, too.

Angel simultaneously stabs the tragedy-faced man in the chest with the sword and throws the knife in his other hand at the joy-faced man across the room:

Cordelia: We have to go now!
Angel: Why? Are there more coming?
Cordelia: No. But you looked really hot doing that just now.
Pause
Angel: Okay! Let's go!

Oh, the genius of Joss Whedon!

Pride!

After last years great experience at Toronto Pride 2008 I was looking forward to this June all year. However, due to financial limitations - House, cat, braces, gas...Living - I really couldn't afford a weekend in the big city. This year would have been especially poignant because I would have had the opportunity to show Brian what Pride is all about. Not to mention it would have been my turn to walk down Church St. holding my boyfriend's hand...

There is nothing more verifying than looking around at thousands upon thousands of gays & lesbians just being themselves. It made me feel so good to realize that I wasn't the only one. Yes, yes - I know that I have my friends and the people I've met here in Kingston as proof that being gay and out is okay and natural. But nothing compares to being one in a million!

Next time, we'll go, Bri! I promise! :)